LifeTides

1st Cycle

February 3^rd we arrived at ward 34 and we were welcomed by the nurses and shown to my room for the stay. It has an ensuite and a TV, luxury to what I thought it might be.

We were left alone to settle in. I put everything away, and  I put my PJ’s on for comfort. I sat in the chair, feeling a bit anxious. It was all new to me didn’t know what to expect.

I met the nurse who was going to administer the chemo, and she explained what would happen. They would put the CHOP in first, then do the R slowly. So, in went, the cannula, and I was connected to the drip for some saline washes and then came the chemo. Some of the chemos are red, and they warn you that your pee will be colourful for a while it was, and there was also some light-headedness, a bit like the morning after a party but hey, no party.

Going to the toilet is somewhat interesting. You have to unplug the drip, wheel it long to the loo, do your thing, then wheel it back and plug it back in. It was all good and not as tricky as I thought it might have been.  You have to not move your cannula hand too much, or it sets off the alarm, and a nurse has to come back and switch it off.

They started the R at about 5 pm. Richard had been by my side all this time, so it was time to say goodnight and relive him from his watch. After all, it was all new for him and probably more stressful and just as exhausting.

I had my tea and settled in for the night in front of the TV.

I had biscuits and tea for supper and got ready for bed. I’ve got to say having a TV works. It’s a good distraction.

All this time, they continued to check my blood pressure, temperature, oxygen level and pulse. Of course, my oxygen level was low, so no surprise there, and my temperature was a little high.

At about 10 pm, I started to get itchy red blotches on my face, I called the nurse, and she gave me antihistamine through the drip. It stopped the reaction quickly, and I was fine.

So I got into bed. And the nurse found another pillow for me. Unfortunately, it was not the best bed for someone who needed to sleep upright as it had a metal frame with no cushioning.

Some dosing went on but then, about 11:30 pm, I was struggling to breathe. I kept saying to myself, it’s okay, but it got worse, and I pressed the buzzer for assistance. The nurse came and she put me on a suboptimal nebuliser and shut the drip off, and called the on-call doctor.

It was pretty scary. I suppose I’m not used to my body being difficult, so the doctor came and chatted to me and said he would call the on-call consultant to see what should be done.  

The consultant said to remove the drip, keep the oxygen on, and get an X-ray done right away, I had reacted to the Rituximab.

Got to admit I’ve had better nights; my breathing was shallow, but I was calm. A porter and nurse then took me for an X-ray. It was now 2 am with me still on oxygen wrapped in a blanket. Getting there was interesting as porters can use different lifts, and no one was about it, it was so quiet.

The X-ray didn’t take long, and I was soon on my way back to my room and in bed.  Unfortunately, the oxygen was to stay on all night. I was feeling better and managed to nod off.

I saw the doctor again at about 4 am and he was happy that everything had settled down and said he had seen the x-ray, and my left lung was now half full of fluid. Poor me, I did feel a bit sorry for myself but then I’d not had much sleep and I think things play on your mind more at night.

The morning came, and I was exhausted. I’d chosen porridge for breakfast, it was awful. Why did I not go for the toast? A quick call to Richard, who was already on his way in would sort me out. It did he brought me a coffee and granola bar, and I was ready for both.

I brought Richard up to date with the night’s antics and reassured him that I was ok and I was. My nose was dry and sore inside from the oxygen.

The consultants did their rounds quite early, and they were asking how I was feeling and that they had been chatting with the respiratory doctors and decided now was the best time to drain my right lung. The good news was that they would do it in my room under a local anaesthetic. 

Later the doctor from the respiratory clinic came down with his new ultrasound gadget, which looked like a smartphone. The ward doctor came in too, and they asked if a trainee nurse could watch, of course, I said, and Richard could stay too.

So, sat on the edge of the bed, leaning on the table looking out the window, and they started.

I felt a scratch from the local anaesthetic going in and some pressure. And a few minutes later the doctor started siphoning the fluid out into a bag by using a large needle connected to a tube. It wasn’t painful at all.  I think the whole process only took 20 minutes, they only wanted to take 1.5 Ltrs out, for now, to see how I got on.  I started to cough, and they said that was my lung trying to inflate on its own, one of the things they weren’t sure would happen. So this was all positive, and the trainee nurse was amazed then so was Richard and I.

We did take a photo of what came out, it looks like carrot soup, during the day doctors and consultants popped in to see the photo they were well impressed.

Richard went away it was late afternoon, I was ready to snooze.

Wednesday was fine and the day went pretty well, and they said I would go home on Thursday.

I did get released on Thursday 6^th and it was lovely to be heading home with Richard to see Maisie and Gracie I had missed them so much.

It was quite an eventful stay in hospital for me, I did get most of the chemo in me and it should now be doing its job of seeking out the cancer cells and destroying them, my journey was underway. My next cycle wasn’t till February 24th.

A shout out to the nurses, they are amazing, so efficient, kind and understanding, and one for the hospital ice cream; it’s bloody delicious!

I settled in back home, and it was lovely to be back in my bed and have Richard, Maisie, and Gracie around.  The following week beautiful flowers arrived. They were lovely.

So life went on, I was tired, and my taste buds were rubbish; everything had a metallic taste, and I was sick a few times. Had some constipation and some mouth ulcers but there are remedies for most things. I think I was very lucky to have so few side effects!

I was lucky with the side effects, not too many and not too bad, constipation, sickness and some mouth ulcers, but they have remedies for everything.

I wanted to keep my mind active, so I worked in the mornings, rested in the afternoon, and managed to do some short walks in the field with the girls.

Chemo brain fog does exist, and on those occasions, I stayed away from the computer. It is like the menopause fog, it affects your ability to think clearly and you forget the simplest of words.

I checked my temperature twice a day. This is recommended as you are more prone to infection so you’ve got to keep an eye on it. Once the sickness passed I was starving most of the time, so I ate food that didn’t taste too bad tinned fruit was a thing with ice cream (I can’t eat fruit skins in case of infection), alcohol was rubbish, water with Ribena tasted ok, and chewing gum did too. My weight dropped quickly and it looked like I didn’t fit my skin anymore.

Sleeping was better, I was breathing normally, I responded very well after just one treatment, and the lumps that I could feel were shrinking.

Mid-February, my hair started to fall out quite quickly, and it left me with bald gaps, so that was it. I booked an appointment at the Hairdressers, and off it came had number one, just so I and the hair could adjust. But at the weekend, I used the electric razor to take it all off, I have to say I love it, it was great just wash and go no faffing! Although, I did need to wear a hat as it was February and cold.

I was offered a prescription for a wig, but I didn’t bother; I liked my look. (Apologies for the quality of my selfies)

Mind, that’s not the only place where hair disappeared eyebrows went but not all of my eyelashes and then my underarm hair went and to this day it’s never grown back. And yep everything below the waist went too.

The problem is that chemo also kills good cells and you have to wait for them to regrow.

I was beginning to feel much better and eating well, but cycle 2 was coming around quickly.